I am beginning to accept that in SL I am a “poly” person insofar as my desire to explore "sex" with others while being “committed” to a primary partner is concerned. My accepting this about myself is not always easy, and I still have issues with being honest and open with my primary partner about my “poly” nature without feeling guilty or without feeling that I am some how deliberately upsetting him.
So, I tend to react negatively to his giving me permission (blessing?) to explore others and have trouble letting go enough to enjoy this freedom -- even though I do appreciate the tremendous amount of trust he puts in me, and it is exactly what I want.
Although I know that for myself, my secondary explorations have no effect whatsoever on my commitment to or depth of feeling for my primary partner (if anything, they strengthen my feelings) -- I am not able to understand that the same may be true for him. So when he shows any sort of interest in someone else, I react jealously out of insecurity and fear.
Rationally, I know that my jealous feelings and reactions are not fair to him and hope that in time, I will learn to give him the same amount of trust, freedom, and support that he gives to me.
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